


if there's a path or a door i missed, then show me now, show me this

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [54]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wishes he was there. He knows why he's not. But he still wishes he were. Those guys earned it without him and made it without him. It's their moment.</p><p>Title taken from All I Ever Wanted by Shinedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if there's a path or a door i missed, then show me now, show me this

He wishes he was there. He knows why he's not. But he still wishes he were. Those guys earned it without him and made it without him. It's their moment.

So instead of being in Detroit, he's in San Francisco, sitting on the couch with Melianny in his arms while Ryder eats ice cream next to him. He thinks about that for a moment, watches his boyfriend's son bouncing happily while they watch The Sandlot. He thinks about how much his and Ryan's relationship has been repaired, that Ryan would leave the most precious thing in his world in Melky's care. It's like they're almost back to the way that things use to be.

It hasn't been easy. Ryan trusts him again, has never thought that Melky was lying to him about anything except by omission. It's been a hard time coming but the effort and the patience has been worth it, knowing that the man he loves finally loves him back again. Ryan's been staying in an extended stay hotel, isn't ready to move back in with Melky yet but he spends the night a lot and he'd asked if maybe Melky wanted to watch Ryder for a few days since Nicole was in Texas. Melky had jumped on the opportunity.

“Melky?”

“Si?”

“Do you and Daddy love each other?”

Melky frowns and runs a hand over Ryder's curls, nodding. “Of course we do, mijo. Why?”

“Because you made Daddy cry.”

Melky stares and then has to bite his lip. He knows that he's made Ryan drink, and scream, and shout, and a dozen other things. But he never for a moment thought that he had ever made Ryan cry. Ryan doesn't cry. He's the strong one, always has been, steady where Melky is more emotional and prone to act on those emotions. Ryan doesn't get sad, doesn't cry. He just gets angry. Hearing otherwise kind of skews Melky's world view.

“I did something that I was not supposed to and then I lied about it. He was very hurt.” Melky answers softly, looking at Melianny and thumbing her cheek.

“Did you say you were sorry?”

“I did. I said that I was sorry and I asked him to forgive me. And it took a while but he did.”

“Because you love each other?”

“Because we love each other.” Melky nods.

Ryder seems satisfied with that. Melky likes that, likes that for once it's simple and easy to explain why Ryan still wants anything to do with him. Most of the people who knew about their relationship still don't quite understand it. Pagan especially had been critical of the scenario and that hurts Melky, that someone who had been one of his best friends and still is upset with him. Melky had asked Gregor, who has never turned his back on him. Gregor had simply said that Angel didn't want to see Ryan hurt again, he'd been in a pretty awful state following Melky's suspension.

It's late and when the movie ends, Ryder's eyes are drooping in spite of all his insistence that he isn't tired. He eagerly 'helps' put Melianny to bed, helping Melky tuck her in and kissing her cheek good night. He takes his bath and changes into his pajamas easily enough but when it's actually bed time, it's more difficult. He stalls, gets Melky to read more of Anne of Avonlea than they usually will in a night, pretends that he can read the Spanish and reciting passages he remembers from Anne of Green Gables. He looks hopeful but Melky can't help snorting and laughing.

“Nice try, chicharito, but it is bed time. Sleep now.” Melky answers, taking the book and marking their spot, setting it aside. Ryder crosses his arms and pouts.

“But daddy hasn't called.”

Which actually explains kind of a lot. Ryder usually is fairly cooperative when it comes to his bed time, which was why tonight was unusual. Melky considers it and nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He dials Ryan and hands the phone to Ryder. He can tell when his boyfriend has answered the phone by the way Ryder lights up and squeals 'daddy!' before babbling about his day with Melky. Melky sits on the edge of the bed, watches him with a warm smile.

For ten minutes, he hears a one sided conversation between Ryder and Ryan that only comes to an end because Ryder's getting sleepy. He smiles and takes the phone, presses a kiss to Ryder's hair as the boy dozes off. He flips the light switch off and slips out the door, phone pressed to his ear as he manages a cautious and quiet hello, not wanting to wake Ryder up.

“It's late. He's not in bed?”

“Well, he is now. Has been for a while. But he was stalling about going to sleep because you hadn't called him.” Melky answers, peeking into the nursery and checking on Melianny before making his way back to his room. He crawls onto the bed, stretches out and turns the TV on. It's reruns of a sitcom he doesn't really understand. “How's Detroit?”

“Fucking cold.” Ryan mutters. “You should have seen Crawford. All you could see was his eyes. Lincecum kept hiding his arms inside his hoodie.”

“Worried about tomorrow?”

“No. If I'm thinking about the cold then it means I'm not thinking about the game. I'm thinking about the game.”

Melky laughs softly. “Yeah, that's you. It's also you to sound so cranky about it. Such a chip on your shoulder. Gregor told me you had a whole section of the plane to yourself because no one wanted to sit near you.”

“Shut up.” Ryan mutters, but there's no heat in it. “You and the Vogelchild surviving together?”

“Si. It was a good day.” Melky yawns, stretching. “We'll be fine.”

“I'm glad. That you can take care of him. It's... it'll, it's a good sign.”

“Sign of what?” Melky blinks.

“That things are gonna be okay. That we're gonna be okay. That this is going to last.” Ryan clears his throat. Melky doesn't miss the roughness in his voice, the emotion.

“I'm yours. You know that. No matter what happens, I'm yours. Even if you hadn't forgiven me, I'd still be yours.” Melky says softly. “I don't think that I could ever be anything else.”

“I should probably get some sleep. It's really late here.”

“Yeah. Win, okay? Twenty five guys, one common goal.”

“Win tomorrow.” Ryan answers softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Ryan hangs up without another word and Melky stares at a picture of Ryan, Ryder and Melianny that displays on the back of his phone. He sighs and kisses it before leaning over and connecting his phone to the charger. He rolls onto his back, pulls the blankets up and stares at the ceiling. He misses Ryan, misses being able to lay over him and use his shoulders for a pillow. He hates sleeping alone.

He turns the TV off, puts the remote aside as the room goes dark. He rolls onto his stomach, clutching the pillow Ryan uses for want of his boyfriend and whispers into the darkness, “Win tomorrow.”


End file.
